Kuroko no Basuke: Kise x Reader- Facade
by OtakuNekoSan
Summary: "If you fall in love with me, we're breaking up." You really had never asked for this.
1. Chapter 1

_I wish that you would notice me_

_Yet your eyes always pass over my head_

_You never look my way_

_Are you aware that that crushes my heart?_

_When you smile I smile_

_When you laugh I laugh_

_I share your sadness, I know when you cry_

_Notice me already..._

x x x

A sigh escapes your parted lips as you slip the white envelope into his locker. How long have you been doing this again? You tried to recall the number of days you wrote a letter to him, always leaving it where he would notice it.

Kise Ryouta, the heart throb of Kaijo High School. You were aware that he had many fans, yes, but you situation was much much different from those other girls. To put it simply, you were his girlfriend.

You had never wanted it to happen, yet for some reason, it did. A month ago, Kise had asked you to become his fake girlfriend to decrease the amount of girls targeting him. You were popular, quite similar to Kise actually; no one would suspect that the two of you going out was an act. And it was quite true- The two of you got along well, and looked like a couple to the public eye. But along with Kise's proposal, he had a condition.

_"If you fall in love with me, we're breaking up."_

You had accepted his proposal, but you felt bad for lying to him. You had actually been in love with the blond ever since middle school, and now that you two were 'going out', you only fell for him more.

The feelings that you held back were always written down on a piece of white paper, and every day, after school ended and everyone was gone, the letter would be slipped into the locker.

It was your secret that you didn't want anyone else to find out. A sigh escapes you parted lips as you run a finger over his locker, before you turn and head out of the school into the snow swirling outside.

Your greatest wish was to get him to notice you, yet was it really possible? No one else noticed it, but he never truly acknowledged your presence- the '-cchi' was never added to the end of your name. And as much as it pained you, you endured it, knowing that if you didn't 'go out' with him, you would only be forgotten, like a voice lost in the wind.

x x x

_I wish that you would notice me_

_Seeing you always brightens up my day_

_Did I ever mention how much I loved your eyes?_

_They sparkle like the sunlight, so warm, so friendly_

_Shining light upon everything that you see_

_Yet your eyes never meet mine, do they?_

_Notice me already..._

x x x

To a normal person, the word 'home' meant comfort. A place filled with love, warmth, and joy.

To you, the word 'home' meant hell.

You take in a deep, shaky breath as you stand in front of the door to the place you called home. You open the door as silently as possible, hoping not to alert anybody of your presence.

You weren't so lucky.

"You finally got home, did you?" A scornful voice fills you ears, and you wince as you hear a bottle shatter.

The man who you called your 'father' was truly a wonderful actor. He had somehow managed to get your mother to fall in love with him, marry him, and bear his child. Yet from the start, he was only after her money. Your mother died, and you were left alone.

The man approached you, backing you up against a wall.

"I thought I told you to get home earlier today, didn't I?" He said, his voice dangerously low.

You feel your heart rate speed up as you brought the broken bottle up to your neck, and he leaned in. His breath smelled of alcohol and cigarettes.

You feel a sharp pain in your shoulder, and you cry out as the man pierced your sensitive flesh with the sharp end of the glass. Gasping, you slide down the wall, tears forming in your eyes.

"I'll let you off this time. Next time you disobey me, you won't be so lucky."

x x x

_I wish that you would notice me_

_Your laughter is truly music_

_It makes me want to smile and laugh along with you_

_Have you ever realized that I never truly smiled_

_Do you ever see the pain that I hide?_

_Notice me already..._

x x x

The following day, you got to school earlier than usual, and headed straight for the infirmary. As always, it was empty.

A small sigh leaves your lips as you grab some disinfectant and bandages, before slipping off your shirt and inspecting the wound from yesterday.

It had become almost like a routine; you would get injured, try to survive a night of pain, before going to school early the next day in order to treat your wounds. There was no first aid at your house- all of the cabinets were filled with bottles of wine, cigarettes, and some food.

You wince as you carefully disinfect your wound, doing your best not to cry out from pain. It was amazing that no one has discovered you situation yet, and you planned to keep up the act. You didn't want pity; you wanted to be seen as someone who was strong. Bruises were covered with make up, scars were covered with clothes. And the mental pain you felt was disguised by a fake smile.

When you finished bandaging your wound, you got up and left the room. In the bathroom, you washed your face, erasing any signs of the tears that had leaked out from your eyes the day before. Then you head on over to your classroom, sitting down in your seat, acting as if nothing had happened.

It really has almost become a routine.

The door opens, and in strolls Kise Ryouta. Your boyfriend. You smile at him, giving him a small wave.

_Do you notice that my smile isn't real?_

"Good morning, Ryouta."

_Do you notice the pain I hide?_

"Good morning, (First Name)-chan~!" Kise grins and wraps you in a hug.

_Because I know that this is all an act._

You hug him back, your arms crawling up the blond boy's back.

_But even if it is for a bit, I want to escape reality._


	2. Chapter 2

Kise found the letters strange. Every day after basketball practice, he would always open his locker to find a pile of fanmail, sprayed with perfume, filled with sweets, each letter covered with dozens of hearts.

Maybe that is why the white letter drew his attention so much.

x x x

_I wish you would notice me..._

_Are you aware of how my heart beats for you?_

_Your voice makes my cheeks warm; being with you makes my heart race_

_Every moment I spend with you makes me desire_

_that the moment would last for eternity_

_But I know that I am not the one in your eyes_

_Notice me already..._

x x x

The first letter he had gotten was simple. He read it over out of curiosity, before he threw it into his bag along with the rest of his fan letters.

Yet the letters kept coming.

They were always placed in the same white envelope, devoid of any perfume or decorations. The message inside was always a cute, short poem that repeated the same words over and over again.

_'I wish you would notice me..."_

At first Kise didn't care for the letters, and he dismissed them along with the rest of his fan mail. But after a month, his attention was once again drawn to them.

All of his other fans simply stopped sending mail after a while; no two signatures were ever the same. Yet the letters kept coming. Eventually, Kise's curiosity got the better of him.

He started to read the letters.

Each letter always spoke of how he would attract the writer's attraction, of all of his characteristics that the writer had noticed. It scared him how the writer seemed to know him better than he knew himself.

Yet whenever he finished reading one of the letters, he was always left with the same warm, fuzzy feeling. It made him smile, and he always wondered the same the over and over again.

_'Who wrote this?'_

x x x

_I wish that you would notice me..._

_Your hair always shines so brightly_

_It makes me want to reach out and brush it with my hand_

_Is it softer than I expected? _

_A part of me really wants to know_

_But I can't approach you and ask so casually_

_Notice me already..._

x x x

Kise never really knew the (hair colored) girl very well. Yet when he first saw her, there was something about her eyes that drew his attention; they were both bright and dull at the same time. Maybe that was why he had asked her out. There was a part of him that knew that she wasn't one of his fans.

Boy, was he ever so wrong.

He had spoken to the girl after he observed her for a week. Kise noticed that she, too, was quite popular among both the guys and girls of the school. She would be a person that wouldn't be questioned if they started going out; if anything, there would be people that would support the couple.

So Kise spoke to her. He told her about his situation, and made a proposal; they would go out to decrease the amount of people targeting them. It was a good deal, as popular people had their own share of problems, no matter what their personality was. And in the end, Kise added one last comment.

_"But if you fall in love with me, we're breaking up."_

He had honestly meant it as a joke; he even winked and grinned after saying the sentence. But the girl had not seen this. She simply stared at him blankly before replying.

_"Okay."_

The two had started going out, and Kise never failed to notice how good of an actor the girl was. She would laugh, flirt, and touch him in school; there were times when Kise believed that she really was his girlfriend. Yet when they were alone, she kept her distance, smiling lightly and answering his questions as if he were a stranger.

He really hated it.

There were times when he wished that the girl was someone closer to him, that she really was his girlfriend. But Kise was aware that she was only dating him for the benefits that he had proposed.

The entire time this happened, the letters never stopped coming.

x x x

_I wish that you would notice me..._

_T__he rhythm of your basketball bouncing on the floor_

_matches the beating of my heart_

_Can you hear my voice? The one that wants to escape its cage_

_If I had the courage to embrace you I would_

_But I can't._

_You'll hate me if I do it._

_Notice me already..._

x x x

Kise noticed that the letters were becoming more sad, and it made him hesitate to read any more. He wondered if the girl that wrote the letters was hurting because that he had decided to date (First Name), but he dismissed the thought.

It was on a cloudy day that basketball practice had ended early, and Kise ended up going to his locker before his usual time. He was about to turn the corner when he heard footsteps, making him freeze.

A part of him wanted to know who it was that was delivering the letters, yet a part of him held back. In the end, if he found out, what would he do? If that person was someone that he knew well, would he really act the same way?

But once again, curiosity won, and Kise peeked around the corner.

His eyes widened at the sight he saw.

In front of his locker stood a girl with (hair colored) hair, her palm pressed up against his locker. Kise watched as she reached into her bag and pulled out an envelope.

His breath hitched.

The envelope was white.

(First Name) slipped the envelope through one of the cracks of the locker, before letting out a small sigh, her hand tracing over the pattern of the metal. Then she picked up her bag, and was about to turn away when Kise called out.

"(F-First Name)-chan?"

The girl froze at the sudden voice, and she turned around abruptly, only to see Kise standing before her. Her face contorted for a second, before she turned and ran.

Kise stared after the girl, stunned at what he had seen until he snapped to his senses and tore after the girl. Yet after she turned a couple of blocks, Kise lost her. He found himself standing near her house, and deciding that that was where she must have went, he went up to the door and rang the doorbell.

The door opened, and Kise found himself face to face with a man sporting a rough stubble, his hair uncombed. Kise wrinkled his nose; the house smelled of alcohol.

"What is it, young man?" The person at the door asked.

"O-oh, excuse me. I'm Kise Ryouta, and I'm looking for (First Name). I was wondering if she came home..." Kise trailed off.

The man grinned a bit. "Ah, you must mean my daughter. She didn't come home yet, might be at the park. If you head over, you might see her."

Kise thanked the man, and turned to leave. He was just a couple of paces away from the house when an scream drew his attention back to the house. Golden eyes widened at the next words that he heard.

"You damn bitch, how dare you go around telling people my address! I warned you yesterday not to disobey me, and now look at what you have done! If it weren't for that woman, then I would kill you myself!"

Another scream interrupted the peaceful evening, and Kise took a step backwards, shocked. Taking out his phone, he quickly contacted the police. He then sprinted back up the steps and banged on the door.

"(First Name)-chan? Are you in there? Answer me!" He called out, uncertain of what to do. The door suddenly slammed open, and the man from earlier stood before him, a shattered glass bottle in hand.

"Kise Ryouta, was it? You really have a pretty face. But unfortunately, I'll have to ruin it. This family situation is only between me and (First Name), it is none of your business. But now that you've heard..." The man grinned, an evil light shining in his eyes. "I might as well hurt you a bit..." He raised his hand over his head, and was about to bring the bottle down onto Kise's head when a heavier force was thrown onto his back, stopping him.

"D-don't hurt him, please...! I-I'll do anything you want, so...!" Kise watched, horrified, as the girl was kicked and flung up against a wall.

The sudden wail of a siren alerted the three of the police's arrival. They restrained the man, forcing him into a police car. The remaining officers requested Kise and (First Name) to go to the station to state what had happened. Kise bent over, looking into the girl's eyes, concerned.

The (hair colored) girl smiled weakly at the blond. "I'll be fine..." she murmured, trying to get up before collapsing again. Kise frowned, before turning back towards the officer.

"Sorry, but I think she's a bit traumatized. Can you let her rest for a day or two?" The police looked dissatisfied for a moment, before deciding that it would be okay. After they left, Kise bent over the girl.

"Hey...are you okay?" He said softly, squatting down besides her. She smiled again, refusing to look at him.

"I'm perfectly fine, Ryouta."


	3. Chapter 3

You wondered how many trials God had decided to put you through before he would be satisfied. You could deal with the pain of abuse, the ache of your heart whenever a certain blonde male looked your way-

But mental torture was the worst possible thing you would have to endure.

Stuck in a small apartment with your crush, in close quarters, overnight? That was seriously bad for you.

A sigh escapes your parted lips as you recall the events that happened earlier that day. After your father was taken away, Kise had marched into your house, which he promptly declared 'uninhabitable and unsuitable for humans'. And then, he had the audacity to invite you to his house. After he had seen you slip that letter into his locker. Sometimes, you really couldn't fathom what ran through that boy's head.

It was approaching evening when Kise told you that you should go shower. Not knowing what else to do, you nod before heading into his bathroom. It was neat and simple- which you didn't expect of the blonde male. You had always believed that he would spend hours in the bathroom fussing over his hair and his face and whatever else he could fuss over. The thought of it almost made you smile.

Almost.

You quickly take off your clothes before stepping into the shower and turning on the water, which was ice cold. But still, you stayed still, letting the water hit your bloody skin. You sigh again.

You really didn't know what prompted you to follow Kise to his apartment. Most likely, you were in shock from everything that had happened. But now that it was all over, you felt dull and limp.

Empty.

What were you supposed to feel? Sad that your father, your flesh and blood, had been taken away? Nervous that you were spending the night with the one you loved? Or elated, that you wouldn't be subjected to physical torture anymore?

At this point, you honestly didn't know anymore.

You were nervous some, yes, but the hollow feeling was much stronger than that, overwhelming every other emotion.

Before you realized it, you had spent ten minutes standing under the flowing water. You quickly turn off the shower, before stepping out and finding that Kise had left clothes out for you. You were so distracted entering the bathroom that you hadn't noticed it. Slipping on the oversized clothes, you couldn't help but notice.

It smelled like him.

An immediate blush overtook your features, and you shook your head quickly, getting rid of the thought. You turn and see your face in the mirror.

You looked absolutely terrible.

You didn't cry, but your eyes were red. Your hair was tangled from the water, and your face was extremely pale. You ran your fingers through your hair, before washing your face quickly with water from the sink. There was no way you would let Kise see you like this. Knowing him, he would definitely worry.

You exit the bathroom and find Kise sitting on his bed, reading a magazine. He looks at you, and grins. But the grin fades quickly.

"Hey...are you really okay?"

You plaster on a smile, and hold up your hand in a peace sign.

"I'm perfectly fine!" You reply, in a voice that seemed happy enough.

Kise frowned.

"Liar."

Your face crumbles at that one word, and you look down at the floor. Tears threaten to fall, but you hold them back. You couldn't cry. You couldn't cry. You couldn't. You wouldn't let the tears fall it it was the last thing you did. An uncomfortable silence stretches out between the two of you before suddenly, you hear the creak of a bed mattress. You peer up slightly, and see Kise smiling at you.

"Hey, (First Name)-chan. Let's become actors~!"

You stare at him blankly, confused. Kise spreads open his arms.

"For ten minutes. You'll be the person who is upset, and I'll be the person who is comforting you."

You freeze, looking into his eyes. Was he being serious? There was no way. But then again, his eyes were extremely serious. At least, more serious than they have ever been.

"Well?"

You take a trembling step forward, before leaping into his arms, sobbing uncontrollably. Never had you cried so openly. Never had you relied so much on somebody before.

Never had you felt so weak.

But when Kise wrapped his arms around your trembling, crying frame, you felt safe, warm, protected.

After a couple of minutes pass, your tears begin to subside. Kise looks at you, confused.

"Huh? But it hasn't even been ten minutes yet!"

You smile shakily.

"Manga and real life are very different, Kise."

The blonde-haired basketball player grinned sheepishly.

"You knew I got that line from a manga?"

"Of course."

The basketball player ruffles your hair gently.

"Do you feel better now, (First Name)-chan?"

"A bit."

You push yourself out of Kise's arms, before rubbing your eyes a bit. Kise opens his mouth again.

"Hey, (First Name)-chan."

"Yes?"

"W-were you the person who has been sending those letters...?"

You freeze up at his question. You had completely forgotten about the letters that you had been sending. You look at his face.

"What if I was?"

The expression that crossed his face made your eyes widen. It was shock. And...

Pain?

Was it pain? Or was it simply uneasiness? You look away, efficiently hiding your face from him.

"Just kidding~!" You say in a singsong voice. "I deliver the letters for someone I know. She said it was strictly anonymous and that she wouldn't chase after my boyfriend directly though~!"

You get up, before turning to look at Kise again.

"I should go sleep in another room. I don't think that boys and girls should sleep in the same room, you get what I mean?" You wink teasingly at the blonde model, and he laughs.

"It's fine. I'll go to the living room, you can stay here." Kise gets up as well, ruffling your hair one more time before exiting.

"Good night, (First Name)-chan~!"

You smile softly, sadly.

"Good night, Ryouta."


	4. Chapter 4

_"If you fall in love with me, we're breaking up."_

* * *

_"W-were you the person who was sending those letters?"_

_"What if I was?"_

* * *

Kise Ryouta wanted ever so much to go back in time and punch himself for saying those words. Saying to her that they were going to break up if she fell in love with him. Just who did he think he was, trying to command her emotions in such a way? He mentally slapped himself.

If (First Name) really was the author of those letters, then saying such a thing to her would have hurt her beyond his comprehension. Kise wasn't a person big on relationships, but even he knew that when people fall in love, they get hurt.

So why did he feel so disappointed when she said that she wasn't the author of those letters?

He had gotten his hopes up, and he felt stupid for it. Hopes that maybe, just maybe, he could break the facade of being lovers and transform that illusion into reality. The sudden thought confused him though.

Since when did he start acting like he liked her?

Actually, no.

Since when did he start liking her?

The realization struck him hard. Kise had felt attracted to the opposite gender before- but every time, it was out of appreciation of their looks and the surface of their personality. He had had his share of girlfriends, but had never tried to dig deeper, to try to see more of their hidden sides.

But (First Name) had prompted him to do so.

What was it about her that attracted him? Kise couldn't identify it. There were too many reasons- he couldn't possibly identify them all. All he knew was that he liked her.

Heck, he _loved_ her, if that was even possible.

But at this point, he was completely clueless as to how to fix their relationship. Kise Ryouta had his share of girlfriends. But never did he try to further his relationship with the other party.

And so, the blond ace decided to confide in some of his teammates for advice.

* * *

"...Are you an idiot? Do you have any sort of respect for a member of the opposite gender?"

Kise stared at Kasamatsu, his jaw slack. He was fully aware of his senior's extreme shyness when it came to girls. So when he answered in such a blunt manner, Kise was stunned.

Kasamatsu sighs, burying his head in his hands. "I thought that you pulled me out on a Saturday to talk about something important, but it turns out you just want to complain about your relationship issues..."

"B-but my relationship issues are important!"

The basketball captain sighs again, running his hand through his short, black hair. "You should reconsider your words before you speak, Kise."

The blond takes a sip of his drink, before speaking. "It's a bit too late for that, senpai. I'm trying to ask how I can fix the problem."

"...Remind me why I have to help you do this?"

"Senpai...!"

"Fine, fine." Kasamatsu leans back in his chair, stretching. "Why don't you break up with her?"

"What?!"

"I meant, break up with her and ask her out again properly. Honestly, isn't that a given?"

"I considered that, but would it really work? I feel liked she would run away before I managed to ask her out again. And what if she doesn't like me? She's been delivering love letters to me for one of her friends."

"I get that." The basketball captain now leans forward, placing his elbows on the cafe table. "The point is, are you going to keep running around and avoiding the problem? Or are you going to learn to be honest with your feelings and confront her directly? Which would be more fair to her? Because if you continue this, she's going to find out that you were lying to her- and then, your relationship would be in shambles no matter what you do."

"...You say some deep things sometimes, senpai."

"...Shut up."

* * *

You had been lounging around Kise's apartment, unsure of your next course of action. You had visited the police station, and they said that you could stay at the model's house for a while, given that you two were dating. Kise had left a couple hours ago on 'urgent business'. A sigh escapes your parted lips, and you venture into Kise's room, observing the magazines and pictures littered around on his desk.

You see pictures of his friends, his basketball team in middle and high school, basketball magazines, magazines that featured him- there was a wide variety. You sort through the piles of pictures, a small smile making its way onto your face. It was nice to see the blond having fun with friends. Then, a certain picture catches your eye, causing you to draw a sharp intake of breath.

In a small picture frame, buried under mountains of other photos, was a picture of you and Kise on your first date. The two of you had went to a photo booth and taken a picture for memories. You had treasured that little scrap of paper, but never in your wildest dreams did you imagine that Kise would have kept his. You pick up the small frame with trembling hands. A sudden slam of the apartment door causes you to jump.

"(First Name)-chan? Where did you go?" A voice calls. Footsteps approach the bedroom, and you scramble around, trying to put the pictures back where they had been. Of course, you didn't make it in time.

"...You saw." You look up to see Kise standing in the doorway, a soft smile on his face, his eyes drawn to the photo in your hand.

"We took that on our first 'date', remember?"

You swallow, and incline your head.

"...You kept it," you breathed out.

The blond raises an eyebrow at your reaction. "Yeah, I did."

He walks over to you, still grinning.

"I take it that your words mean you kept yours too."

You stay quiet for a minute, before you nod. Kise's arms suddenly envelop your body in a warm hug.

A comfortable silence stretches out between the two of you, and you find yourself leaning back into the male's embrace. You hear his heartbeat, thudding rhythmically, and you begin relaxing.

Kise broke the silence.

"Hey, (First Name)-chan..."

Your eyes look up, trying to find his.

"...We should break up."

It takes a couple of seconds for those words to register, and you immediately push him away on instinct.

"W-why...?" You manage to say. "I-I never said anything about liking you- I never told you that I fell in love with you- why are we breaking up? I didn't say a thing, so why...?"

Confusion clouds your mind, and you stumble backwards. It was somewhat of a shock, but after you had lost your family and your home, you found out that you were going to lose the last thing that you had left. Tears began to blur your vision, and you shake your head, trying to prevent them from falling.

"(First Name)-chan-"

"I-Is it because of those letters? Did you find out that I was the one sending them in the end? Or am I just too much to deal with? Did I do something wrong? Ryouta, I don't-"

"(First Name)-chan, calm down...!'

You're suddenly pulled into the blond's arms again, and you found yourself unable to break away. After a bit of struggling, you give in, burying your face in his chest, drawing in deep breaths in an attempt to stop the tears that threatened to fall.

You feel Kise's hand running through your hair reassuringly, which easily soothed some of the panic that you initially felt. You breathed in, and out, silent tears now flowing down your cheeks. After a couple of minutes, you managed to stop crying. You try to sit up and apologize, but Kise's arms trapped you, holding you close to him.

"...Hey, I want you to listen to me."

"..."

You remain silent, now leaning on the model's chest, still and unmoving. Your mind had once again gone completely blank, and you had nothing to say.

"...I like you."

A spark of confusion flickers across your (eye colored) orbs. You try to get up, but Kise's arms still caged you there.

"I like you. I really really like you. I've liked you for a long time. That's why we need to break up."

Your eyes glance upwards, and you notice almost immediately that his ears are tinted pink. That small sight struck you hard.

_He was embarrassed._

You smile at the thought.

_He was cute._

Kise draws a breath, before speaking again.

"Hey, (First Name)-chan...Would you go out with me? Properly this time...?"

You try to sit up again, and this time, you are finally successful. You stare at the blond. His face was flushed red, but he stared at you straight in the eyes. You found yourself becoming flustered at this sight.

Then you lean in, to close the gap between his lips and yours.

_Because from the beginning, you already knew that the day that the facade the two of you held shattered, fate had only two paths it could take._

When you pull away, Kise grins.

"I take that as a yes?"

_Luckily for you, fate decided to at last give you your happy ending._


End file.
